Beware

I've discovered I have laser vision. My first act will be to melt the Screaming Banshee of Death. My second action will to burn Alpha's restraining rope. Be warned hoomans. I have my evil laser eyes set on world domination.

Rain, March Madness, Thunder

Alpha is insane. He's lost it. He took me to Monte Sano State Park Friday to camp. Fun, right? What he failed to mention was that the forecast was for THUNDERSTORMS. He said he wanted to test his rain fly for the hammock he sleeps in, I think he wants certifiable. Because there was no one else there (most hoomans DON'T camp in storms) I did get a lot of off-leash time. I spooked a pair of owls so Alpha could take their picture. They make funny noises.
Back to the storm. Alpha parked me under his hammock and rain fly. I love getting wet, but that thunder stuff? I'll pass. We stayed dry, but I finally convinced Alpha it was time to leave when the thunder got extreme around 7 am. He's starting to understand my whimpers.
In March Madness news, I've correctly picked 2 of the Final Four teams (Butler Bulldogs and UConn Huskies). My bracket is currently beating Alpha and 2.5 million other hoomans according to ESPN's Tournament Challenge. It's all about the dogs. We rule. If there were any Australian Shepherds in the tourney, they would win easily.
Oh dear, Alpha is getting out the Screaming Banshee of Death, time for me to go hide!

My evil plan......

I've put my secret plan into action. The Screaming Banshee seems to come out twice a week now. I've decided to lay down as much of my fur as possible so that it will choke and die forever. I hate that thing. It yells and screams takes all the good dirt I bring in off the floor. Alpha follows it around everywhere but he always seems to be too slow to catch it. SO. My plan is simple. Choke the life out of it. If it wants to pick up all my good dirt and mud it can pick up my extra fur too. I don't want it anyway, it's HOT outside!

Does anybody know where a dog friendly theatre is? I'm very unhappy about not being able to see Toy Story 3 yet. Maybe I'll try and find one of those bootleg copies online of some dude using his video camera in the theatre. ::Hey, dummybrains, if you're gonna do something illegal on MY computer don't tell me about it, and DEFINITELY don't blog it for the world to see:: Oh, right, everybody forget what I just said. It was a joke. Ha. Ha.

GO USA!! Beat ALGERIA!! Where the heck is Malawi? I don't like that ref.. If I ever see him in a bar I'ma BITE him!! GRRRR!!

Am I obsessed... with Demons??

So Alpha decided to turn the Screaming Banshee of Death loose again. It's SOOO petrifying... but afterwards he brought up something that I thought I would pose to you other hoomans. He says I think too many things are evil or demon possessed. Is this true? I mean, yea, I blogged about the Screaming Banshee HERE, mentioned it HERE, and imagined dismantling it HERE. I showed you my possessed food dish HERE. I talked about evil cats HERE and I said Koda was demon possessed HERE. I don't really think that necessitates him stating I bring it up too much and I'm sure you other hoomans agree with me too. I'm cuter anyway so who cares what he thinks!
Here's a couple pictures of me blogging. Alpha is SOOO picture-happy now that he has a new camera.. I think he glued it to his hands... sheesh can't a doggie get some PRIVACY!?

I don't really need the glasses, I just think they make me seem more intellectual, don't you?

Dog Holiday!!

As I'm sure you all know, tomorrow (March 3rd) is What If Dogs and Cats Had Opposable Thumbs Day (check out the link on the right for a list of more doggie days). I wish they'd take the cats out of it, the vile creatures. I digress. I thought it would be fun to imagine a full day if I had thumbs. So, here we go.
My first action would be to let myself out of that den I'm in all day. It seems pretty simple, just grab the lever, lift, slide, and I'm FREEEEEEEEEE. Unfortunately, I can't reach the doorknobs, so I'll have to entertain myself indoors. That is, UNTIL I realize I'm able to open the window.. Hmm this could be fun!! But, woe is me. The window only leads to small roof/overhang type deal. But no matter, I'll sunbathe for a bit. Ok enough of that, I want to PLAY. Now which one of these drawers hides the socks? FOUND IT!! All the socks I could ever want to chew on!! Yippee!! Oh boy, now I found the container of Yellows! Off with your lid! Yellows for everyone!!
Uhoh, I hear Alpha's transport vehicle, back to my den and close the door! Ha, I'm so sneaky. What's that? You want to put my leash on? I don't think so! Unclip that bugger once we're outside and it's OFF TO THE RACES!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! Ok now I'm hungry, the foods in the pantry (another doorknob I can't reach), back to Alpha for some kibbles. Ahhh full tummy, back in the den, Alpha leaves and it's out the window to sunbathe for a nap!! Now, about that Screaming Banshee of Death. Screw driver? Check. Hammer? Check! That thing is getting turned into scrap today!! Muahahaha! My day is complete.
My last act of the my day with opposable thumbs will be to stick my thumbs in my ears, point all my fingers straight up, and stick my tongue out at you!!
Good night!!

Weekend Update

Happy Tuesday Hoomans! (Or Mardi Grass for you New Orleans hoomans)

Alpha and I are back from our wilderness expedition to the mountains! We went with his mate Ashley, her sire and dame, ::Lilo, the human title is parents, not sire and dame. Silly dog -Adam:: and their pack: Molly, Mo, and my evil arch nemesis: KODA. grrr.
We left after his hunt and picked up the rest of our temporary pack on Thursday, we spent 9 hours in Alpha's transport. Saying I had pent up energy is an understatement. We made it in the wee hours of the morning Friday, and I smelled a predator when we got out. It wasn't around then but I knew it had. Alpha said that's because it was hibernating. Thought tangent: How do bears sleep for MONTHS?! I'm ready to runrunrunrun after a 2 hour sleep. Tangent over.
There was LOTS of stuffing in the mountains. Most of it was near the tops, but we had some to play in and stare at (hoomans are weird are stare at it instead of eating it).
The next days the yellow escaped a few times, but I heroically captured it again for my pack leader. That night Alpha spotted some prey: deer! I wanted to catch one but I wasn't allowed too. That makes me lower my ears and make big eyes. I sniffed after them the next day just to be sure I couldn't catch up.
The hoomans left us in our dens Sunday to go to hooman only places. We protected the dwelling very well until they returned.
And just like that it was time to leave. Alpha shunned me for trying to capture prey escaping into the ground, he said something about red mud and his transport, but I wasn't listening.
The hoomans wanted to stare at more things so we went the long way back. That evil tyrant pretending to be a dog named Koda gets grumpy in the transport on long trips. Apparently I'm not allowed in his personal bubble so he attacked me and tried to take my ear for his own. Alpha rescued me and the hoomans made me feel better until I quit whimpering. I hope Koda has to meet the screaming banshee of death... While the hoomans are giving him a dunking in the white pool of water.
Alpha and I made it back safely eventually, even with all the stuffing hiding the roads from us. He's waiting on a new power thing for his computer and says he'll add pictures when it gets here. Blogging from a Blackberry is tuff. And makes me hungry.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Screaming Banshee of Death

I'm.. soo.. scared.... Pack leader got home from his hunt today and we played for a little bit, and then I got the Yellow for him. While he was gone, I was FINALLY able to kill the Fluffy that shares my den.



I don't think Master thought it was dead, becauz he brought out the SCREAMING BANSHEE OF DEATH to finish it off. It is so mean. It yells and growls and goes back and forth across the floor, and it has a bright cyclops on the front of it that searches and searches for me. I know it will eat me if it finds me. Alpha tries to hold it back but it keeps lunging forward and he has to pull it back before it gets loose!! I found a good hiding spot:



I'm not sure where it is now... I am hiding on the couch behind Alpha now, I know he will protect me. ::Adam here, the Screaming Banshee is my vacuum cleaner if you haven't figured that out yet::
If the Banshee kills me overnight, I hid a bone under the floor in my den.