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Monday, June 21, 2010

My evil plan......

I've put my secret plan into action. The Screaming Banshee seems to come out twice a week now. I've decided to lay down as much of my fur as possible so that it will choke and die forever. I hate that thing. It yells and screams takes all the good dirt I bring in off the floor. Alpha follows it around everywhere but he always seems to be too slow to catch it. SO. My plan is simple. Choke the life out of it. If it wants to pick up all my good dirt and mud it can pick up my extra fur too. I don't want it anyway, it's HOT outside!

Does anybody know where a dog friendly theatre is? I'm very unhappy about not being able to see Toy Story 3 yet. Maybe I'll try and find one of those bootleg copies online of some dude using his video camera in the theatre. ::Hey, dummybrains, if you're gonna do something illegal on MY computer don't tell me about it, and DEFINITELY don't blog it for the world to see:: Oh, right, everybody forget what I just said. It was a joke. Ha. Ha.

GO USA!! Beat ALGERIA!! Where the heck is Malawi? I don't like that ref.. If I ever see him in a bar I'ma BITE him!! GRRRR!!

Monday, June 14, 2010

I know you missed me.

I'm back hoomans!!

I would ask if you all missed me but everybody misses me when I'm gone so I won't even bother asking a question we all know the answer to. I've been staying with Ashley and BOY is she stingy with her communication devices! Something about my excessive amount of slobberiness, I'm not really sure, I wasn't listening.
I had a grand idea for this "i'm back" blog post: I would use every conceivable cliche about being back. You know, lyrics from Back in Black, screaming I'm back like the guy at the end of Independence Day, maybe even breaking into Rihanna's "Baby I'm Back" song. ::What DID you do at Ashley's? SERIOUSLY.:: 
Alpha nixed that idea. He said cliches are corny. He should know what corny is. ::I'M RIGHT HERE!!!:: HAHAHA, I made a funny.
OHOHOH I met Vanessa and she was hyper like me and i wanted to keep playing but Alpha made us stop and he called her Yankee Doodle but she said she's not a Yankee, she's a Red Sox and i LOVE the Red Sox but only when they aren't playing the Braves who are doing AWESOME right now and leading the NL East and I have a new favorite toy it's a bunny slipper that was in Ashley's garage and I took it and play with it all the time ::Seriously, take a breath:: Ok sorry. Whoa.
Anywho, I'm back with Alpha now and he leaves the World Cup on for me and it's SOOO fun. Although those vuvuzelas (definition HERE) get on my nerves. They just never stop!! ::Gee, who does THAT remind you of??:: I dunno, who? ::nevermind:: Fine, I think Australia will win. Alpha calls me a homer for that, but I don't really get it. He picked Spain to beat Portugal in the final. I think he's nuts. I hate Spaniels. They think they're so cute. They're just lazy Australian Shepherd wannabes!
Ok, that's enough for today. Here's some pictures of me more grown up now. I don't know what that crazy thing on my neck is, but it's NOT staying there. It's BLUE!! That's such a boy color. Alpha's gonna find that in my poo later. MUAHAHA.